Did you Have a Gender Reveal Party?
When I was about 9 weeks pregnant, I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, touched my barely there bump and said “Nathan”. That was it. My baby was a boy and his name was Nathan. An ultrasound a few weeks later confirmed what I already knew. I was having a boy. There was no build up, no gender reveal cake, no coloured powder explosion.
While I was happy that my intuition was right and I couldn’t be happier to be a boy mom, I can’t help but feel that maybe I missed out on something big by knowing my baby’s gender so early on.
When my younger sister was pregnant, we sat around the dining room table and were each served a “special cupcake”. We took turns guessing the gender before biting into the sweet treat on the count of three, revealing soft pink icing in the center. Everyone cheered and cried and hugged and rubbed the belly. I’m pretty sure my mom bought a pink bunny the next day.
I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t had that moment in the mirror? If I had of had the ultrasound tech scribble down the baby’s gender on a little piece of paper to be tucked away and given to a cake decorator, balloon artist, or pinata maker? If I had thrown the party and had family and friends guess pink or blue?
Did I miss out on part of the pregnancy experience?
What about those who don’t have gender reveal parties and choose to wait to find out the baby’s gender in the delivery room? Nine months of waiting, of anticipation, of telling people you don’t want to know the gender and having every yellow onesie sold across the country packed away in your nursery? Do they feel the same sense of missing out as I do?
Selecting a name is another part of the pregnancy process that I didn’t go through. I never cracked open a baby name book or looked up the top 100 baby names of the year online. I didn’t battle with my baby’s father over our top three names. Knowing my baby’s name at 9 weeks meant his father never even had the chance to think of a name!
At my baby shower, friends and family not only knew the gender of my baby, they knew his name. They wrote cards to him and inscribed books with his name.
Did having that moment in the mirror mean that I missed out on two important parts of the pregnancy experience?
I don’t know. I like to think I had something special. I like to think that moment of “knowing” was the first time my baby spoke to me. I like to think that he wanted to tell me his gender and his name; that there was this little independent soul growing inside me, speaking his truth, making his wishes known.
Sure, I may have missed out on the gender reveal party and the naming process. But I think instead I have a pretty special story.
What about you? Did you have a gut feeling of your baby’s gender? Did you wait to be surprised? Did you do the gender reveal party?